a tribute to fandi and abbas

i started watching soccer at the age of 4. my dad had been a soccer fan since forever, and he'd bring my sister and i along to watch soccer at the national stadium. (for some reason, my brother hardly ever went?) back then, singapore was playing in the malaysian league and malaysian cup, our country against the different malaysian states. well, basically because we're already such a small country, we joined in malaysia's league.

we used to buy season tickets to watch soccer. we'd go to the national stadium and scream ourselves hoarse, then drive up to malaysia for the away games if we could. especially if it was the malaysia cup.

somewhere along the line, my sister had somehow made friends with singapore's favorite football son, fandi ahmad. fandi was the nicest, most generous person ever and it was hard to imagine it even possible, because of who he was. in those days, singapore soccer was really something that people talked about all the time. fandi was the prodigy child who had returned to singapore to play for his country, and he was a super huge star. through fandi, we also got to know many other soccer players. he and abbas saad, soon became family friends and we would often meet for meals together. they were the nicest people ever.

in 1993, singapore made it to the finals of the malaysia cup, and we drove up to malaysia. it was so exciting and a totally intensive atmosphere. unfortunately we lost 0-2 to kedah and at the age of 10, i remember being terribly disappointed!!

however in 1994, fandi captained the team. i guess it was the mixture of the right players and the right timing and luck. we won the league AND the cup. i'll never forget watching the cup finals against pahang where we trashed them 4-0. it was amazing. the singapore boys were so fired up that night, they were unstoppable. halfway through the match, even the malaysia/pahang fans started leaving the stadium.

right after we won both the league and cup, for i think the first time in history, singapore's football association had a tiff with the malaysia side. according to the news as i remember it, they wanted us to reduce the number of foreign players, or to have no foreign players at all; something like that. so singapore withdrew from the league, and i remember seeing fandi and abbas and the rest of the team's pictures splashed across the papers and it was really sad.

a whole lot of saga happened after that, and for a while, my dad and i did continue watching soccer, after singapore started her own s-league.

but somehow it was just different, and slowly, we stopped going.


today was the national stadium's closing ceremony. there were two matches played. the first featured ex-singapore and ex-malaysian internationals, and included players from back then, when my family used to be soccer mad. except that most of them are at least in their 40s now, some in their 50s and 60s, with big tummies and not-very-fast legs!!! it was good to see them again. old as they are, some of them still showed glimpses of their old selves. fandi and abbas were not there, being in indonesia and sydney respectively. i did wish they were though.

the match after that was another friendly between the current singapore team and the australian team. i took one look at the sizes of those aussie boys and decided it was impossible. plus, a few of them actually play in the english premier league!! like hello, so impossible??

then i found out that the singapore team now comprises of some, err, foreign imports. foreign players who have been playing in singapore for a long time now, and were given citizenship.

i was quite impressed. the first half ended in a 0-0 draw, but the aussies were really physical. and huge?!?! it was a hard, contact game, and our small strikers were starting to limp around.

i thought the singapore boys played well, and had just as many scoring chances, but they failed to connect and the goals never came. even open goals!!! it was exasperating. in the end, we lost 0-3.

it was so freaking hot today, especially throughout the first match, i started getting rashes and heat bumps. yes, i am allergic to everything. but it started getting cooler as the sun went down, and i had such an enjoyable night. it was a really good match to watch, but more than anything else, it brought back memories of my childhood. memories of the hundreds of hours i must have spent here, more than a decade ago. the cheering, the stamping, the waves... the tingly feeling i used to get down my spine from all the excitement.


i just wish i had the chance to see fandi and abbas play one last time, before the national stadium gets torn down and rebuilt.

i know they might probably never read this, but i hope one day i can tell them so:
thank you for all the lovely memories. thank you for making me realise, at my young age back then, that when you believe in something with all your heart, when you give your everything, you can make it happen. i saw it with my own eyes in 1994, and i have never forgotten.

as gross and mushy as this may sound, you two have always been my two favorite soccer heros.





me, in all my double-chin glory. i sulked all the way till sunset because it was so hot and humid! notice my portable electric fan? it's a gift from heaven. i carry it everywhere.


gawd, i was so unglamorous. it was too hot for comfort, and i did the unthinkable....... push up my cargo pants to around my knees. eeps.

glutton

just when i declared how much i love gays,
i opened the papers today to read about a gay gang
in holland who lured victims over the net,
inviting them for an orgy, only to drug them,
rape them and then infect them with the hiv virus
by injecting them with contaminated blood!!??!?!

they said that it excited them, and that the more
hiv-infected people there were, the better their
chances of unprotected sex.

i was shocked. and very disturbed.

people like that are really sick.

how can anyone do such a thing!!!
it's terrible.
have we lost all sense of decency and humanity?


more reading for the professionals
- gay orgy gang's hiv rapes stun holland
- the complete hiv/aids resource





anyway i went with my sis and her boyfriend down
to newton circus hawker centre today for dinner.




it's one of the most famous hawker centres
here in singapore. although some of the hawkers
are notorious for touting, there are a couple of
stores that my family and i have been frequenting
over the years. and when i'm overseas and lusting for
some oily singaporean food, i lust for newton circus.




i've been dying for some spicy and oily seafood.

it never disappoints.

we ordered sambal stingray, sambal kangkong,
sambal sotong (squid) and oyster omelette.

(in case you're wondering, sambal is a condiment from
this side of the world. it's a kind of chilli paste that's
usually blended with some dried prawn paste that
usually stinks like hell but tastes so so so good.)

and to wash it all down, i drank sugar-cane juice
topped with some lemon.

heavenly.

this is the stingray on the left, and kangkong on the right.


this is the oyster omelette.




now you know why singapore is called food paradise?

eating is our national pastime.

i'm so full, my tummy's about to burst.

ps: today's my dad's birthday but he's on holiday in china.
i know he doesn't read this
(of course i don't tell him i have a blog.
i can't be swearing if he's reading this!!), but oh well.
happy birthday daddy. love you.

rude singaporeans

me. i am. melting.

i was out today and i saw this guy wearing
a woolly sweater over a turtleneck.
does he know it's like 35 degrees celcius!!
good lord.

i realised today that i complain a lot.
not that i mean to.
nor am i some unhappy person or something.
it's just that it's this personal pet peeve when
things aren't up to standards.
or when you meet rude people.

i hate bad service.
rude sales-people.
rude waiters.
people who can't string a proper english sentence together.
parents who do not discipline their screaming children.
people who blatantly cut queue and pretend they didn't.
i hate them.

maybe, i had been living in a too-polite country
for too long.
but singapore is just getting ridiculous.
i've been back here a little over 2 weeks now,
and every day i meet people who deserve slapping.

like when we went to lunch about a week ago,
to tonkichi at isetan scotts.
my family and i go there pretty often because
it's the only place we know that serves proper tonkatsu.
although i could understand that it was family day and
i do expect for there to be kids around,
i cannot believe that parents can let their children run free.
it's a restaurant, not a fucking park!!

for goodness' sakes,
make your children shut up and sit down!!

there were kids running around and screaming and
playing catching and climbing all over the seats!!
it's not the children who are at fault, but STUPID parents
who fail to reprimand their own kids and keep them
under control.
they obviously have absolutely zero respect for others!!

when i was younger, my parents made sure i sat quietly
at the table when we were out.
if we were at home and i wanted to run around naked,
sure, who cared??
but not when you're out in the public and disturbing others!!

kids nowadays have no manners and it's because
their own parents have none either.

at the same restaurant, we had the lousiest service
by this waitress who obviously chose her own english name.
if i remember correctly, her name was alicious.
no, not alicia, but alicious.
you know, like delicious.
alicious came to take our order, but just as my sister,
who was the first to order, opened her mouth to say what
she wanted, alicious, who obviously wasn't paying attention,
turned to say something to her colleague.
she then turned back and said,"sorry?"

then my sister said,"i want a..."

alicious, failed to pay attention (again),
cut off my sister (again),
and turned to say something to her colleague (again).

my sister said,"are you going to take our orders or not?"

alicious,"oh sorry sorry, what did you say?"

i had a good mind to whack her head.

thank god for the manager who saw me glaring.


then there was this other incident at singtel,
where i went to sign up for a mobile phone connection.
i patiently waited for my turn, standing there for at least
10 minutes because there was only one miserable guy
serving behind the counter.
then just as the previous customer walked away and
it was finally my turn, this other guy came out of NOWHERE,
and started asking questions to the guy behind the counter!!
i was so pissed off!

so i ignored him and told SingtelGuy that i wanted
to sign up for a new line.
RudeGuy interrupts with another question.
SingtelGuy decides to be of service to BOTH of us,
and checks answers to RudeGuy's AND my questions!
so i asked SingtelGuy, "is there a reason i had to queue up?"

SingtelGuy,"i'm sorry ma'am, but i'm also checking for you."

"yah but why are you checking for him?? i've lined up and
waited for ten minutes!!"

"yes ma'am, but i will check for you first."

RudeGuy cuts in with another fucking question.

"then why did i have to queue up if people barge in from all over!!"
saying it loud and clear for that RudeGuy to hear.

"yes ma'am, sorry ma'am."

that asshole looked at me with a stupid i-didn't-do-anything-wrong
face, then his girlfriend comes over and looks at me as if i was the
one who had cut their queue. i widened my eyes and glared right back.

bloody hell.

so you see, i think i complain a lot.
like how i'm really peeved that many younger singaporeans
cannot speak proper english.
(but that's another story)
but i feel i have grounds to be irritated.

thank god my parents made sure i grew up with manners.
thank god i know how to say "please" and "thank you"
and "have a nice day!" and thank god i know how to smile,
even to strangers.

shadow is in doggie dreamland

as i type this, she's sitting by me, and making all sorts of funny
sounds. soooo cuuuuuuute!! she had a haircut yesterday.
but i was a little peeved when i went to pick her up from the
groomers'. they cut her hair really weird. i prefer her hair long,
just because she looks prettier, but in this heat, i know it's better
for her to have it short. but the haircut is just awful.

nah-ah.

they cut the hairs at the back of her neck so short, but left those
at the front of her neck long?? and at the back, instead of having a
smooth slope from short to long, it looks like... a step. (you know,
from stairs??)

oh god. i can't even describe it.

my baby's growing so old, her brown outer coat is hardly even
growing anymore. with her hair cut short, she's almost all white.
she looks like a lamb. hmph.

bib and i went to meet our cousin again last night. she took me to
the latest hangout in singapore. it's called the cannery, right where
clark quay is. it used to be a really DEAD spot but they did it up with
lots of new clubs and bright neon lights. we went to kandi bar.
well yeah yeah it was kinda cool and all but i couldn't believe it when i
ordered a lychee martini and it came in like a wine glass.
BAH. i was not impressed.


however i've heard a lot about this fashion bar and you know me,
i love all things fashion, so i'm waiting for a chance to go check it out.

after some drinks, we went to this arsenal fan club-ish place.
there used to be this manchester united bar in singapore a few years
back too, but that closed down. which surprised me because there are
thousands of man u fans here in singapore. (err, for those of you who
are lost, i'm talking about the english premier league!)

i'm suspecting this arsenal bar is still standing because it's owners are
just about one of the richest families in singapore, so they don't really
have to worry about paying rental and all!!

we went to watch the uefa champions league finals between liverpool
and ac milan. i was rooting for milan.

as a former man u fan (i worshipped eric cantona),
there is NO way i could have cheered for liverpool.

did anyone watch!!?

unfortunately, i thought milan played really poorly in the first half.
like hardly any possession! but kaká is just SO talented. i became
quite a fan after the last world cup. he had this one move in the
first half of the match that got me saying a really loud "OOH!!"

and was that first goal almost a hand-ball? well it was a
upper-arm-ball. kinda tricky but heck! they put in another one to
silence those liverpool players anyway! HAH!

anyway, today i went to play badminton with my coach, nordin,
and rilaini. it was so funny. i hadn't played badminton since
primary 6!! (12 years old)

my juniors from my secondary school had training after that,
and i joined them for a short while. i had aching muscles for
a day after training on monday. well, i had expected that, since
i haven't been exercising for like, 3 years! the last time i ran
was when i last came back to singapore, last year in august!!
(when i joined the team for training.)

by some kind of miracle, my muscles stopped aching today
and i could run and walk.

hooray!

i've put on a lot of weight the last few years and it's almost
disgusting. i'm not in the overweight bracket yet, but i'm just
leading such an unhealthy lifestyle, it makes ME sick. so now
that i am back here i'm determined to lose some weight and
start exercising again. and hopefully get my hockey skills back!!

anyway, after training, i went for my first ever oil-painting class.
i've never been properly trained in the fine arts and before
attending fashion college, where we used color pencils and
watercolors to sketch our designs, the last time i had ever held
a paintbrush was when i was 12. so i had LOTS of problems in
college just attempting to paint a simple design, so i thought
i really needed to get trained. i've always wanted to try
oil-painting, so since i had like 2 months free here in singapore
i decided to have a go at it.

i joined a weekly class at the nanyang academy of fine arts.
there were just about 7 or 8 people in my class, so i was pleased
that it was small. but i was kinda nervous since i'd never done
anything like that before. since it was the first class for fellow
beginners like myself, our teacher got us to do a painting on
blocks, where we would learn undershading and lighting,
err, that kinda thing.

it was really interesting and i really enjoyed myself. although
i'd have to admit that half the time, i didn't really know what
i was doing. haha. my teacher commented that he noticed
that i don't look at the object very often but i'm kinda getting
it right anyway. i wonder if that's a good or a bad comment.
he also said he doesn't know what i'm thinking cos i was
expressionless. which i thought was hilarious and made me
laugh, cos i have always been miss exaggerated-expressions!
well i guess it was a room full of strangers and i needed to
warm up before letting all my crap hang loose. heh heh.

the lesson went on for about 3 hours, with a lot of "what do
i do next?" thoughts going through my mind. it was really
interesting though, how we all look at different angles, and
even if it were the same angle, how we would look at it in
a different way. don't you think the brain and how we work
is just fascinating?



yeah yeah i know, not very good at all. well cut me some
slack cos i only had 3 hours!! we'd be working on this
again and finishing it up during our next lesson.
hopefully, it turns out much nicer! yikes!

photo diary

i am in the search for a bloody charger for my digital camera.
yup, i STILL can't find mine!!
i also went to sim lim yesterday,
singapore's answer to tokyo's akihabara,
except akihabara is an entire town and sim lim is just
one measly building, filled with all things electronic.
but they took a look at my camera, and said,
"don't have".

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

it's driving me crazy.
i usually take a million pictures all the time, and because
my camera captures videos too, i used to take plenty,
and transfer them to my computer everyday!!!
being unable to do that is really irritating.

in my earlier post , i mentioned that i had stolen
my dad's canon 30d.
yeah i've been using it,
but unfortunately, that father of mine keeps stealing it back.
so we're like constantly stealing on each other.
can't he let me have it!!!

anyway. i finally borrowed my sister's boyfriend's
multi-card reader/writer, and managed to extract my photos.

woohoo!!

so now i only need to find something to charge those
camera batteries!! yikes!

so here are some photos from the past week or so,
from when i was just leaving tokyo.

may 11

that crazy reiko. everything and anything that she got her
hands on, she put on!! i was like, "aren't you hot!!"
hahaha it was so funny. we ordered pizza and she opened the door
like that. and asked the pizza guy if he wanted my feather mask!

may 13

sasan and me in the taxi, on the way to the station!!
that's the notebook that my friends made for me.
with these drawings of me on the cover. it's disgusting. haha.


the famous singapore changi airport.
in a not very well-taken photo from the back
of my taxi on the way home.


my swollen eye. except that when i transfered the photos
to my computer, it didn't look that bad. but it was actually red
and swollen and the nerve below my eye kept twitching and
irritating the hell out of me!! i wanted to take photos of my
face when i got home, but it was itching and i was scratching,
and my hands refused to reach for the camera.

may 15

we had lunch at a hawker centre at zion road, near my
house. my aunt and cousin, nicole, came to join us.
she's huge for her age and really cute!! i haven't seen her
for a while and she really grew. i hear she's quite the devil
though. at least she's cute. haha.


we went to palm beach seafood restaurant for dinner.
we've been going there for years and always order a big
sri lankan white pepper crab. yummy!!
it's what i call finger-lickin' good. the fried prawns in
almond flakes and nestum cereal is really good too.
but prices have gone crazy the last few years and it's not
really worth going there anymore. the food is pretty
average for the price, and you can probably find equally
good meals elsewhere for much cheaper. and besides,
i give them fail fail FAIL for service. by the way don't
attempt to go there without a singaporean if you are a
foreigner. for many reasons.


palm beach is lucky because they relocated to the
pretty cool one fullerton. i saw pretty cool because it's
right next to the waterfront, and next to the merlion.
you can also get a pretty good view of singapore's
commercial district (i like it at night). across the bridge
is also "the durian", what locals call the esplanade,
singapore's performing arts centre.
(by the way, say "singapore" to a japanese and they
reply "merlion". it's weird!)

may 16

shadow's already 13. she's really old and her senses are
slowly failing. she's even got grey cataracts clouding
her eyes. and she's gotten skinny over the years. i hate
feeling her bones. she has a breathing problem due to
a collapsed windpipe. i hope she stays healthy for many
more years. i can't lose her just yet.


at hard rock cafe for dinner. i love hard rock. good food,
good service. and good food. plus, the one in singapore is
SUPER near to my house. very convenient. i wore a
really colorful anna sui dress and cowboy hat, and felt
very loud in boring singapore. HAH.

may 17

i went out with my sis, bib, and her friends to some karaoke bar,
and had two vodka cocktails, before ordering a whole bottle
of absolute vodka to share with my sis and one other friend.
we paid like SGD140 for it. that's crazy because i can buy it for
SGD17 at the airport!!! why can't everything be duty-free!!
the 3 of us finished the bottle. it was crazy. i haven't been this
high for a really long time.

may 18

chocolate fondue at stella's house!! i LOVE chocolate.
my sis is sometimes disgusted with how much
chocolate i can eat. put chocolate in front of me and
i'll eat it. fry some cardboard and cover it with
chocolate and i'd probably eat it too. you'll know
when a restaurant serves really bad chocolate shakes
or cakes when i don't finish it (hardly never, but
when it's really bad...)

may 21

a night out with bib and my cousins. they are from my
father's side of the family. we had half a bottle of hennessy.
it was a bit too strong for me. haha. do any of us look alike??
they are children from two of my dad's sisters. it's so hard
to get together like this with everyone busy or abroad.

one thing i hate about japan

i'm here in sunny singapore. actually, what i meant was, really-hot,
i-need-to-dunk-my-head-in-a-bucket-of-ice-water,
sunny singapore.

it's really hot.

so it's been about 4 days now, since i've been back here.
everything has happened so fast and i've been so busy and tired.

i nearly went crazy on saturday, the day before i left japan.

i had to call up all the gas, electricity, etc companies,
to tell them that i was leaving, so bill me and stop the service
the next day (i was leaving early morning at 7 am on sunday).
i think i quarreled with almost every single one of those idiots.

i'm telling you, i love japan, really i do.
but the whole country is SO GOD-DAMN ANAL.
they have a certain rule book that they HAVE to follow
and if you ask them to just deviate slightly from the normal route,
they get lost and don't know what to do!!

the country is supposed to be one of the the most
technologically advanced nations in the whole world,
but they have got to be the most backward
in terms of the way they think.

like when i do things, i like to go directly from point A to Z,
cut all the crap in between and get things done asap.
but nooooooooooo. if you are japanese, you basically like to travel
the ultra-long route and go from points A, to B, to C...
before finally arriving at Z.
everytime there is a particular procedure to be done,
the whole thing could take hours,
when it should have been completed in under half-an-hour.

take for example: i wanted to cancel my internet and phone line.
so i called up the number that was written on my bills.
"for change in address, moving, cancellation of lines:
in osaka, call xxxx1
in hokkaido, call xxx2, etc etc,
in tokyo, call xxxx3."

so i called up xxxx3 for tokyo.

the lady at the other end asked for my name, my customer id,
and to confirm that it was me calling,
i had to tell her my phone number and my address.

but because i was calling from tokyo, TO the tokyo line,
when i told her my address, i omitted the words "tokyo prefecture"
when i said my address.

there was a long pause, then she asked,"are you calling from tokyo?"

"yes."

"would you please repeat your address, and say that you are from tokyo?"

"what?"

"we need to make sure your address is in tokyo."

so i repeated my whole entire address,
and told her "yes i am from TOKYO TOKYO TOKYO!!"

but guess what? after she made me confirm all that crap, she said,
"thank you, miss gilda. now that i have confirmed that you are
indeed miss gilda, i will give you the phone number to call
to cancel your internet line."

WHAT THE...

"then what number is this that i am calling now?
it says here on my bills, to call this number to cancel my lines."

"yes, this number is for canceling of lines."

"so why do i need to call another number???"

"you cannot cancel your internet service here."

i swear i could have killed her.

so i had to call ANOTHER number, and again go through
the stupid procedure of name, customer id,
phone number, and address!!

that's not all. after that, i called the water company.

i told them the same story,
that i was leaving early sunday morning, so bill me till sunday,
but to please come around today and collect the money.
they told me they wouldn't do that.
they couldn't bill me extra, and that they would come
and collect on sunday before i left.
so there i was rolling my eyes and asking the guy on the line,
if he was coming around at 7 am cos that's the time i would be leaving.

he said,"no, we do not operate at that hour."

"fine, so come and bill me today and i will pay extra till tomorrow."

"no, we will come and collect from you tomorrow."

i think i nearly started shouting after that.
"DID YOU HEAR ME!!! I SAID I WAS LEAVING AT 7 AM!!!"

"but miss, we do not operate at that hour."

GOD I HATE JAPAN.

so after like 20 minutes he finally agreed to get someone
to come and check my meter, and bill me on the spot.
but then after that, he started a new round of questions.
"between now and tomorrow when you leave your apartment,
are you going to be using a lot of water?"

"well i will take a shower and i will wash my face when i get up."

"will you be taking a long bath?"

"no, like i said, i will only take a quick shower and wash my face."

"so you will not be taking a long bath."

"NO, I SAID I WON'T!"

"so will you use a lot of water when you take a shower?"

"what?? i don't know. i might also use the toilet a few times."

"will you use a lot of water when you use the toilet?"

my god. i didn't know how to answer all those questions.
"do YOU use a lot of water when YOU go to the toilet??
how much water am i allowed to use?
if i go over that limit, do i not flush??"

really. by then, i was sick of all those stupid questions.
my friends who had come over to help me pack,
were laughing and giggling, and saying,
"hahaha. singaporean quarreling in japanese."

SO not funny.


but i think the worst came about with the international calling line.
(in japan, the international phone line is different
from the regular one.)
that bugger on the other end, obviously didn't know his job,
and kept putting me on hold while he checked the answer
to my questions with someone else.
even though that company was the biggest in japan, he insisted that
there was NO WAY for him to check how many calls i have made,
and that i could only be billed at the end of the month.

i was like,"yeah but i'm not gonna be here after tomorrow!"

"but we will bill you at the end of the month."

"are you going to send my bill to singapore?"

"no miss, we will send your bill to your japan address."

"but i won't be here so who's gonna pay?"

".................."

"are you telling me that the biggest phone company in japan,
does NOT have a proper computerized system,
to tell me my phone usage?"

"yes miss."

what?
"so what do i do now?
wait, don't you have many foreigners who have signed up with you?"

"yes we have millions."

"and what do they do when they leave the country?"

"that's true..."

"what??! so you don't know either?"

"many of them don't pay up."

AND I KNOW WHY!!!



seriously.

i wanted to bomb all of them.
thank GOD the electric company was nice and quick.
my phone call to them was over in 5 minutes.
an hour later, some guy came over to collect my bill
and it was all over.

why couldn't everything be as easy as that?

does every foreigner go through this headache when they leave japan?

the saga continues.


anyway.
my last few days were basically spent going crazy
and trying to get everything into boxes.
3 of my friends had stayed over since friday to help.
then when i had to leave,
eri and reiko went to see me off as i hailed a cab,
and sasan shared the cab with me to the station.

just as i was about to get on, she handed me this book.
apparently, the last week or so, she and a few friends had gathered
goodbye messages from all my friends in school.
they had compiled it all into a little notebook for me to take along.
i think i nearly cried right there.
but i bid eri and reiko farewell and got on the cab.

everything was in a blur from then on as i had to hurry to the station.
but on the bus to the airport, i had 90 minutes with nothing else to do,
so i started to read the book. i think i started bawling.
thank god i had a little face towel in my bag.

reaching the airport, a million emails came flooding in
and reading them made me cry.
i called up a few people and said goodbye.
took a picture of the plane i was going to take,
posted it up on my japanese blog, wrote a long "thank you" post,
and got on the plane.

i think i made another mistake of watching a really sad movie on board.

basically, 30 minutes before we were about to land in singapore,
my left eye decided enough was enough, and started to swell.
it started with a small, mosquito-bite look-a-like spot,
right under my left eye. then two, then three,
then they all started joining together
to form the mother of all eye allergies.

i checked in the mirror and got a shock.
i looked like a goldfish.

i've had these before.
i knew what it was going to become.
and god, i looked like shit.

i tried to hide behind my hair and scarf.
but nothing helped.
i wish i had an eye-patch.
but i looked like the devil.
or the fishmonger from hell.

well me and my rotten luck, i landed to find out
that we had arrived WAY ahead of schedule.
so when i called my dad on his mobile, he said,
"huh! you've landed? i'm still at home!!"

so i took a cab back.
it was the first time i had ever taken a taxi home from the airport.
and all by myself!!

i can't believe i didn't get picked up!
so me and my bright gold backpack and
duty-free yummy japanese cookies, my huge suitcase,
AND my mannequin (my torso that i use for creating
3-d designs.yeah i carted it back.), we all climbed into a taxi.
i was carrying so many things,
the driver asked if i was running away.

har har. very funny. shoosh and just keep driving.

we were supposed to go for dinner, but with my eye like that,
i didn't really want to go.
it had pretty much settled down with the help of anti-histamines,
and many drops of eyedrop.
but it was still swollen.

so i hopped into the shower and washed my face.
but my entire face broke out in a weird allergic rash,
and it itched like crazy and turned into an angry red color!

i swear, i'm allergic to singapore!

my sister ran over and gave me some cream for hives
and i was frantically rubbing loads into my skin,
all the while asking if it were safe to use on the face.
at that time i REALLY didn't wanna go for dinner.

besides, i had initially planned my flight so that
i would arrive back in singapore,
in time to celebrate mothers' day with my mom.

but.
my mother had been in koh samui and her flight was delayed,
and so she called and said she wasn't in the mood!
so we went for our mothers' day dinner, without my mom!!

does that make any sense??



to top off a bad week,
i've lost the charger for my camera.
it was a stand that my camera would sit in,
and i needed to connect the wires to charge it,
and also the usb cable that goes to my computer.
i've lost that stand, and so all my pictures can't be uploaded,
nor can i charge my camera!!

it's driving me mad.

the only thing that is consoling me now is that
i have stolen my dad's canon eos 30d.
yippee!!

also, my mum seems a little pleased
with the jacket that i'd made for her.
she wore it to the office today and she said everyone loved it.
well if it made her smile a bit, then it was all worth while.

anyway i hope i manage to find that camera stand in the stores soon.
have loads to upload!!

i've got a tiring day up ahead tomorrow.
gonna be meeting up with my juniors from my field hockey club.
pretty excited.
well i should probably be sleeping now. it's like 6am!!

how are the rest of you doing??
email me!



with much love,
gilda

who is gilda?

all my life i've been asked,
"is that your real name?"

yeah it is. my siblings and i all have special names.

i did a quick search and here's what i got.

according to behind the name, it's
gender: Feminine
usage: Italian
Derived from Germanic gild meaning "sacrifice".

at think baby names
The girl's name Gilda \gi(l)-da\ is pronounced
JILL-dah, GILL-dah, GEEL-dah.
It is of Old English origin, and its meaning is
"golden, gilded". A short form of Teutonic names
containing "gilde"; can be traced to Ermengilda,
an Anglo-Saxon name. Familiar since the 1940s
due to the movie "Gilda" starring Rita Hayworth.
In the 1980s: actress/comedienne Gilda Radner.

but i think my parents named me for this meaning
that i got from babyhold.
The name Gilda is a baby girl name.
The name Gilda comes from the Celtic origin.
In Celtic The meaning of the name Gilda is: Serves God.


all my life i've had to deal with people
who couldn't pronounce my name.
nor spell it.
in fact, i've gotten so used to it,
i respond to all sorts of ways that people pronounce it.
my own parents confuse me sometimes heh heh.
they call me gil-da or jil-da depending on
i-don't-know-what.
so i'm quite happy with either.

i HATE, however, how my name sounds like in japanese.
because the japanese language lacks the alphabets,
or sounds, to produce how my name should sound,
i ended up with ギルダ (read: gi-ru-da).
which is something that i basically have to repeat twice,
to everyone whom i meet for the first time,
or on the phone to the pizza delivery.

i love my name though.
but i do not recommend anyone else
naming their babies gilda.
i'm selfish and want that name all to myself.
heehee.
but if you or your baby IS named gilda,
please email and tell me all about it!!

my elder sister's name, by the way,
is bibiana, and my younger brother, jorim.

aren't we all just a bunch of special kids?
heh heh.

also, my dad is andrew and my mum is maggie.
my dog is shadow and her sister was misty.

i turned 24 on april 19th,
which was when i started this blog.

i was borne and bred in sunny ol' singapore,
and lived at home for 20 years.
when i was in high school (we call it junior college
in singapore) i decided i wanted to do fashion,
and was supposed to head over to new york.
(since i could already speak english,
i figured why learn japanese or french.
and london seemed so cloudy and dreary so...)

but the same year, september 11th happened,
and my parents freaked out and said NO.
so i got irritated, and decided to work instead.

i worked for a year helping to manage
a travel agency that my parents own.
but after a year, i decided that i hated office work.

so i quit, looked through classifieds,
and saw an ad for a nailist.
for those of you who don't know,
i LOVE getting my nails done and i love nail art,
and had always done it myself.
so i called up,
got hired,
got the keys to the shop within a week,
and actually did pretty well.
i really loved my job and treated the shop
like it were mine.

but my boss was a prick and i wanted to quit.
when i told one of my regulars that i was leaving,
she offered me a job at her design agency.
well, at that time, the company was basically
designing things like pamphlets, p.o.p.s,
catalogues and stuff like that,
for some really huge companies
in the technology market.
i started as her personal assistant slash
project coordinator, with zero knowledge.
it was tough work and i had many screw ups,
but i also had so much fun and learnt a lot.
so rog and von, if you ever read this, thank you.
for giving me a chance of a lifetime
and teaching me a lot,
and most of all for being great friends.

in between all that, and since high school,
i had fallen in love with japan and
hence quit work to move here.

i came in october 2003 and started studying
in a japanese school called inter-cultural institute.

i loved it there, made so many friends,
and my teachers were some of the loveliest
people i have met in my life.

then i moved on to bunka fashion college.
for those of you in the fashion circle,
you might have heard of my school.
it's the only asian school listed in the
top ten fashion design schools in the world,
and home to the best of japanese designers.

i took a 2 year course and it has taught me
everything that i know now.
i've also made friends who will last a lifetime
and won't ever forget.

well, rewind back, my parents have always
wanted me to graduate from university.
so i tried applying to my school's university
program (i was in the 2 year intensive program,
much more famous by world standards).

i got in, but when i met up with the professors,
they suggested that i do not enter the university,
because whatever i have already learnt,
would be repeated and then it'll just
be a waste of my time.

so talks began with the parents,
and i was thinking and going all excited about
prospects of st martins in london.
then guess what my dad says?

"how about new york?"

wow, you know i don't regret any minute
that i've spent here in japan,
but it does feel as if my life had gone by
in a flash and i'm back to where i was
5 years ago.

so well, new york's my next destination
and school will be starting in the fall.
in the meantime, i'll be back in singapore
for a while.

so there.
that really sums up my life.

"what a freaking long post!
we didn't need all that info, you know!"

sure. whatever.

i can't help it;
i'm like a long-winded grandmother.

if you have any questions you have for me,
email it and i'll answer them all here yeah?

xoxoxo

gilda

nostalgia

my air steward cousin, sebastian,
came to town 2 nights ago.
he's with the famous singapore airlines.
yeah that's right, he's zippin' around the world
and getting paid for it, dammit.

i hadn't seen him for many many months.

the last time i went back to singapore was last year in august
and i've only been back about
twice a year since i've been here.
i meet up with the whole family each time i go back
and the cousins usually do meet up for a drink
but we haven't had the chance to talk much
in the last few years, so it was kinda nostalgic.

i met up with him the first night at this
japanese food/drink place called "wan".
if any of you are coming to japan for a holiday,
this is a good place to go.
it's good food and a good japanese-y atmosphere
and decor, and oh, it's good food.
i bring all my tokyo-visiting friends there.
even my sister's addicted.
we go there at least twice, each time she comes.
then we went to a bar called L Plus in azabu for drinks,
where we took this picture.

i think we hadn't had a picture together since...
god knows when.




yesterday i met up with some of his fellow colleagues
and it was pretty interesting,
talking to them, hearing some on-board stories,
and just seeing what kind of people he works with.
he seems to be having a lot of fun which made me
really happy for him.

we went to ueno, to the famous ameyoko-cho,
which is usually packed with people during the festivals,
and is usually really crowded any other day.
while there are clothing stores and
shops selling bags and shoes at a discounted price,
people, or rather, I go there for the huge packs of
japanese crackers and snacks at wholesale prices,
good to bring back as japan souvenirs or to pig out myself.
i also go there when i want to get good and cheap dried foods,
or raw fish, salmon roe or
sea-urchin (sounds gross but it's yum) to bring back
to singapore for my parents.

it was SO hot in the day but it started to rain all of a sudden,
which really spoilt our shopping trip.

but then we went for coffee after that and i ordered this.
it's a desert very popular in japan,
called caramel honey toast.

it was so sweet i think it almost made me diabetic.

speaking of nostalgia,
my sis recently sent me some pictures of my
baby brother, jorim.
only he's not so baby anymore.

he's currently in the singapore army,
compulsory for the guys in singapore.
well well, there are a lot of different views on the topic,
but so far i've seen many friends enter and
become men,
so if it makes our boys mature into men,
it can't be a bad thing.

besides, it turned my brother from a fair,
never-did-sports, computer-game-loving,
fat tummy dude,
to a trim, tanned and NO tummy guy,
in just 3 months!!

he recently finished basic military training,
and my sister took pictures at the "graduation" parade.

i was so impressed.

check this out:

before & after

and all together now,

"*WOW!!*"

so anyway, i'm booked to go back to singapore,
in about 2 weeks or so.
i've been packing up my room and it's full of boxes,
and all-in-all, the mess is just irritating me.
i'm really sad to leave but i guess,
saying goodbye is a part of life.
i'll be glad to go back home and spend
a few months with my family though.
and shadow.
i'm really looking forward to being with her.
she's already 13, and getting older by the day.



putting things into boxes also means
i'm going through fragments of my life
from the past 3 years.
i look back at photos and smile.
japan has been really good to me,

and i'm forever grateful.