happy new year!

it's the new year! i can't believe 2007 went past so quickly. i was in japan till may, then i came back to singapore for 3 months, which was my longest break back home since i had moved to tokyo 4 years ago. then i moved away to new york, and now i'm back here in singapore again for my winter holidays. it all seems so surreal.

i made some new year resolutions at the start of 2007, and, if i may say so myself, i think i did pretty well in making most of them come true. here are my new ones for the year:

1. practice my japanese relentlessly and never forget it!
2. pick up french.
3. stay in touch and not get lazy about keeping in contact with friends
4. learn how to cook better!
5. sleep.
6. eat healthy.
7. laugh. and laugh.
   
8. be thankful for each day.
9. grow up and act my age.
10. love myself more so i can love others more.

i also hope to start my own business on the side, and hopefully not burn out from lack of sleep or poor time management. i'm really hopeful for this new year.

i'm going to turn 25 in a few months. it's kinda scary. when i was younger, i had envisioned all sorts of things happening by the time i was 25. but things don't always go according to plan, but i am quite happy to say that i'm really satisfied with how everything has turned out.

i have had opportunities that would never be available to most people, and how many people can really say that they are really living their dream? i know i am, and i'm really grateful.

one thing i need to think about though, is that after over 4 years of getting used to living alone, i have gotten used to being by myself. although i have had relationships in that time, i still kept my own private space, and i like it that way. now i'm thinking, am i ready and willing to give up my space and time, and open up my heart to someone else? i don't open myself up very easily; i've always had problems doing so. i take a while to warm up to people, and i don't openly show that i care even when i do.

do i go all out and reach for my own personal goals, or do i take a step back and let myself enjoy life a little more with someone else? i can't be bothered with childish, trivial relationships with a person i don't see a future with, hence i don't and never have gone on casual dates. i hate clubs where proper conversation is impossible, and on the extremely rare occasion that i do go, i find myself with an amused scowl and thinking, "all these kids rubbing against each other - thank god i wasn't brought up like that."

maybe i do need to change my mindset. but then again, i was brought up with a very certain set of values that i do treasure, and i'm not sure i'm willing to give that up for anything. i'm not someone with a super high IQ, but i know i'm not dumb and i believe myself to be intelligent enough. i'm stubborn and when i want something i find it hard to listen to others, even if i know i should. i love to laugh and i love to make others laugh, and while my sense of humor may be rather sarcastic and crude sometimes and offensive to some, at least others think it's funny! i know what i want in life and i know i can make it happen for myself without having to depend on someone to lay it out in front of me.

maybe when i get older, i'll regret going about on my solo goals and leaving no space nor energy in my life to find that perfect someone. but then again, i don't wanna slow down or wait around for that person to appear.

people always say that "the one" is always right there when you least expect it. i look around myself and all i see are people that i do love and have built great friendships with, but no, "the one" isn't there. maybe i am being really picky, i'm not sure. what i do know is that i am looking for someone who shares a similar sense of humor, and needs his own space and gives me my own to breathe, and who is really smart and intelligent, someone i can respect and learn from. i don't think i can spend time together with someone who makes me think he isn't all that smart, which is a mean thing to say but hey, at least i'm being honest.

so although i'm in a holiday mood now, in just 2 weeks, i would be back in school and busy with my life. a friend once said that one shouldn't be too satisfied and happy with his single life, or he'd never go out there and find a partner. my reply was that i can't be bothered to go out there and "look" for someone, and yes it's too much work and i don't have the time for all that. to which he said, "well you don't wanna grow old alone, do you?"

i couldn't reply.

maybe i'm not giving myself, nor love, a chance. i've grown up with a whole lot of stubbornness, self-pride, and perhaps a little too much independence. if you knew me personally, i'm really a huge tom-boy and i think i have more guy-is traits than some guys themselves - so much so that when i see some women who just pretend to be helpless when they really aren't, i absolutely scorn and detest them for whining their way through things.

ah well. the new year has begun and i have all sorts of plans for myself. i'm enjoying life now, although i have to admit that it gets lonely from time to time. hopefully, i would be on my way to greener pastures by the end of 2008. hopefully, i would be one more step to achieving my ambitions in life. hopefully, as i hit 25, the only lines i would get on my face are those from laughing too hard.

i am optimistic for the future. i know i will become the person i want to be. hopefully, there will be someone to share it with, somewhere out there. beneath the pale moon light. someone's thinking of me, and loving me tonight. somewhere out there, if love can see us through, then we'll be together somewhere out there, out where dreams come true.

and all that kind of mushy, positive stuff. heh heh.

"if you do things well, do them better. be daring, be first, be different, be just."

by the late anita roddick, the body shop founder, who passed away at 64 from a brain haemorrhage in september 2007. it's a really beautiful thing she said, and something we can definitely live by in 2008 and beyond.

bitten and smitten

i just wanted to drop a quick note to say how excited i was when sarah jessica parker appeared on episode two of project runway. holy guacamole!!! and i was sooooo touched when chris started tearing. it was so touching! i had mixed feelings about sjp asking the designers to design something for her line, bitten. i wish they could have designed something for her to wear on the red carpet instead, but i was really proud of her when she said that fashion is not a luxury, it's a right.

amen.

psst: am i the only one who thinks elisa is whack? i love crazy things too but when she actually SPIT on the fabric, my jaw dropped.... what do you think?


update:
how embarrassing! i just rewatched this and what she really said was, "fashion shouldn't be a luxury and quality shouldn't be a privilege". well, close enough! ;)

choosing a great coat for fall 2007

coming from a tropical country where the four seasons are inexistent, all i had to contend with was summer and the monsoon season where it gets only slightly cooler. my favorite holidays have always been those when we went to countries with cold weather, and after living in japan i realize i really loved the cold seasons. "the colder the better" is my mantra, and i love walking in the cold; although i forget sometimes that i am not the strongest in terms of health and fall sick often due to not dressing warm enough.

layering is something I love doing and coats are definitely a favorite part of my wardrobe. i know people who only have one great coat - and that's it. for me, i love looking at coats and cannot get enough. the more unique it is, the better, because i also fail to understand when people have ten black coats that all look the same.

although i have my own sense of style, i still try to pay attention to what the trends are, and not only spend thousands on fashion magazines, i also scour shops and departmental stores often, and devour everything that goes down the runway.

this season, although each designer was significantly different and there were a variety of influences, i felt that most of the coats were either tight at the waist, or with lots of volume. there were many different shapes, both at the hemline and at the sleeves, like the trapeze and bell shapes. most were very tailored, and constructed. there was definitely also many coats with big tucks and even gathers at the waist to give big volume in the skirt, and the big important accessory – a belt, to cinch in and define the waist, giving it a gorgeous hourglass shape. besides the obvious wool, i saw a lot of luxurious and soft fur, metallics, patent, shiny, distressed, and matt leather, some jacquard, and a lot of shine, through satin/silk-like fabrics and sequins. there were even some plastics – pvc.

i felt that some major influences were definitely the classic trench coat, played and interpreted in different ways by the different designers. the military look was still very strong, and i felt that this trickled down into less expensive shops as well, and balenciaga's fall 2007 look was definitely copied everywhere. many were a-line swing coats, and some had a very distinctive cocoon shape and there were big sleeves and even bigger collars and lapels. i also spotted some coats that were actually anorak coats, and also coats that were padded and quilted.

with my aesthetic and "warped" point of view, i tend to look out for more avant-garde and unique items that are somewhat different from mainstream ideas. but i'll try to keep my insane self in check, and list some trends for you to take note of and hopefully, might help you when you go shopping for a coat! of course, not all of us can afford all those designer labels. (and if you can, i hate you. unless you buy me one too.) but trust me, if they've appeared on the catwalks, they'll be manufactured for the normal woman's buyable brands too, so you'll definitely be able to find them if you go shopping.

of course, this is my own guide, and not necessarily the best trend guide out there, but hopefully i can be a bit of help! so here you go ladies, here are the key words for coats this year!



1. balenciaga, baby!
if there's one word you really need to remember, it's "balenciaga", and that's all you need to know. full stop. the show was a big mix of many different ethnicities, but more importantly, it highlighted a huge part of fashion i love: menswear. haha. but this collection is something that everyone can wear, and come away looking chic, smart, hip, and (maybe only to me) super sexy. and you know a collection is successful, when it is copied everywhere and anywhere!

and don't even get me started on those lego heels. i love them more than any shoes i've ever owned and i need 4000 bucks to buy them!

look out for great quality wool in a solid color or perhaps something with stripes, with some trim in a contrasting shade or something super colorful.

balenciaga

1.5. military and menswear. now that's sexy.
i just can't get enough! (just ignore the ghostly make up!) it's just such a strong look and i love strong looking women.

ann demeulemeester, luella

2. love the volume and love the belts
cinching in the waist creates an hourglass figure that i think is just so very lovely. experiment with belts! the fabrics don't even have to match. many designers are using huge obi belts and i think that's really gorgeous. or forget about a traditional belt, try a great scarf!

proenza schouler, dsquared, balenciaga, gareth pugh, vivienne westwood

3. shapes: a-line, trapeze, bell, cocoon etc
it's all about shapes this season, and tucks and gathers that is used to create them. if you don't wanna experiment too much, try adding shape to just your sleeves! or if you're adventurous enough, add them to both your sleeves and hemline. ooh!

moschino, john galliano, stella mccartney, proenza schouler

4. plaid love
and i mean it when i say "love". i have so many plaid items, it's almost shocking. well not really. anyway, plaid is a little tricky if you don't know what you're doing. there's the size of the check to consider, and also the color! i've seen people wearing some tartan check coats that have colors that don't even match! let these babies inspire you.

vivienne westwood, jean paul gaultier

5. feathers and fur (but faux please!!!)
it's all about luxury, honey. (and how much you can fake some luxury.) but yes, let's try to be animal friendly and get faux fur and feathers please! they are just as great. i don't wanna lie and tell you they're just as soft... but just try. if you don't wanna pay so much for an entire fur coat, try trims!! a fur or a feather trim around the neck or on the hem or the cuff of the sleeves, would work just as brilliantly. you might even be able to find places that just sell a fur collar or cuff, that you can attach on to a coat you already have!

undercover, dolce and gabbana, prada, michael kors

6. shine, baby, shine
some metallics and a little bling-bling (sequins, or if you can afford it, diamonds!??!) will never hurt anyone, honey. i also like a metallic plum. ooh yeah. just remember that although fit is important, it is extremely important with shiny materials cos you don't wanna end up looking like one fat tart.

dolce and gabbana, john galliano, burberry prorsum, christian dior

7. the burberry trench
if you wanna invest in something that will never go out of style, invest in one good trench coat. find something with a very warm, double lining that you can remove in warmer weather, and attach on when you're freezing. get something that fits well, and really, it will never ever fail.

burberry prorsum

8. half or 3-quarter big sleeves
shorter sleeves are really in right now, and i think it will still be trendy for quite a while. try them in all sorts of different shapes too!! i like 3-quarter sleeves. if it's really cold, layer with longer sleeved items underneath, but i love it with bare hands, or with long, leather gloves. or a really super long arm warmer. and i don't mean that you wear it all the way up to your armpits. hohoho.

proenza schouler

9. pop and neon colors
bright colors are so big right now, but i've always loved them. why wear dull when you can wear bright! i do have my i-just-wanna-wear-black-and-be-a-rockstar-and-stomp-all-over-with-black-eyeliner days, but i do love them colors.

preen, louis vuitton, luella, jean paul gaultier, christian dior

10. be different
in a world where the majority of the people are in black coats, things can really get a bit drab. so i wanna talk about one of my all-time favorite brands, comme des garcons. not only is rei kawakubo a genius, she is also an architect and she knows the construction of clothing so well, that she is one of the handful of designers who are able to take clothing apart, deconstruct everything, and come up with clothing that is like an art sculpture. she also has vision, and has rigorously trained some of japan's most finest and unique young designers who have left her nest and now have successful brands of their own, like my idol, junya watanabe. most people call rei kawakubo crazy, and claim that her collections are unwearable, unthinkable, and unrealistic. those people obviously have never been to a place like tokyo, where her fans camp outside her shops when limited edition pieces are released, and go "just to have a look" every other day, in case something special crops up. crazy as she seems, she definitely has a strong following and the respect of fashion forward people with an open mind.

comme des garcons, junya watanabe

so there you have it! my little guide for what to look out for when you go shopping for a winter coat. when you have a great coat, all you need is..... a great pair of shoes, some tights or stockings, and perhaps silk knickers. hahaha!



psst: can't get enough, you little fashion addict? hop over to style.com and die in heaven.

victoria's secret... who's victoria anyway?

have you ever wondered who victoria actually is?? haha.

so i was talking about one of my favorite teachers in my last post. he is one of the pattern makers for the victoria's secret runway show.

now tell me again how exciting that is. woohoo!!

so i go to school today and he shows us all these gorgeous gorgeous super fabulous photos of the models in their beautiful outfits. i'm in love and i'm not even gay. i'm sure you know by now how much i love outrageous things, and the victoria's secret shows never fail to please!! ooh la la! hahaha!

ok there were other things but i'm not sure how much i'm allowed to say. he was too nice to even share with us and i'm a big mouth for sharing with you. (but psst. there were super parties after each show and i'm sure we'll see lovely photos soon!)

but till then, and till the show airs on december 4th on cbs, watch these videos to feed your fashion lust!








but my favorite video?
this hilarious one of heidi. ok i'm so jealous of her boobs. pooh.



wanna watch more victoria's secret videos? victoria's secret@youtube

i wish i could...

dance.

i spent all day at home today. i woke up early to do a whole lot of stuff all scribbled on my to-do list, but it was raining and everything had to be shelved.

so i stayed home and did my homework, and watched tv. and for the first time in my life, i watched "so you think you can dance".

it was amazing. spectacular. it was a back-to-back rerun of season 3, and i've just been glued to it all day. all of the dancers were just brilliant and to do a different dance routine each week and make it their own, it was hair-raising just watching them. i literally had shivers down my spine, and some of the dances were just sooo beautiful and touching, i almost cried.

i've always wished i had a special talent. i wish i could be more creative. i wish i could be a great designer. i wish i could draw better. but i think secretly, deep down inside, i really wish i could sing and dance.

i've always loved music and i've always enjoyed singing and dancing. not that i'm good at all, but i just love it. (hmm...i guess i'm only good enough for when i'm singing in the shower, or at karaoke with some friends.) i've always loved watching all those teen flicks where the kids dance so well. and today, as i watched "so you think you can dance", i thought again to myself how i wish i could dance like them. it's great watching how they move their bodies. there were so many different genres, but everyone was so talented, and cool and super sexy. i especially loved it when lacey and kameron danced their first contemporary number at the start of the competition. they killed it! it was so beautiful. i could feel the story through their dance and i could feel their pain and their agony.

i loved it. it's inspiring, and just watching them made me feel good about myself, so i can only imagine how it must be to be them - inspiring others and making others feeling good about themselves, and in turn feeling even better.

i think because i love and wish i could sing and dance myself, i get extremely attracted to men who can sing and dance. very, very sexy. add in a great personality and a gorgeous face, aka takuya... very, very sexy. he's sex on legs, thank you very much.

(okay i know i went totally out of point.
but isn't he just so delicious?)

i feel that some things can be learned and trained, but things like singing and dancing, you need real talent to be good. and it's something i have always wished for.

have any of you ever felt like that before?

sex and my city

i just had to drop a quick note to scream, "YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! hoorayyyyyy!!!!!"

cos whatever ayumi told me a couple of days ago, was totally true!! (i mean, she should know, she's worked for pat field for 14 years.)

sex and the city is in productions! filming has begun!! i'm thrilled beyond words and may (the month the movie's supposed to be released) cannot come soon enough!! i think every girl who has watched the movie would agree with me, that everyone just wants to be in love. there's no better feeling in the world and we can dream about that while watching sex and the city. the way mr big looks at carrie, the way smith loves samantha... i always bawl myself silly every single time i watch the last episode of season six. when smith jumps up and cheers samantha at the cancer event, when mr big tells carrie's best friends that if they think she's happy in paris, he will disappear and never appear in her life again.

i love it love it love it!!

and it's happening all right here in new york city!!! woohooo!!!! i'm crossing all fingers, toes and limbs praying that i'll run across one of the filmings on the streets of manhattan.

PLEASE GOD, PLEASE!!!

update!!
you can get carrie's super cute and unique eiffel tower bag from patricia field now!! it's impractical and totally cute!! hee hee!

living your dream

it's about 1am now here in singapore, i'm almost all packed (who am i kidding), and in 10 hours, i'll be boarding the flight to new york. i can't believe i'm gonna be living in new york!!! for the first couple of weeks, i'll be putting up at a family friend's home (i'll be totally b&t), until i find some place of my own in the city.

i've experienced many things these past few years, and i think i've really grown up and matured. yeah i know you're scoffing and going, "but you're 24, you'd better be grown up."

i don't think age has anything to do with it.

i admit i've always had a very sheltered life. i don't think my parents particularly spoil my siblings and i, but we have had opportunities that some kids in other families might never experience. while it is normal for children to leave home at 18 or so, in places like america, it is not so here in singapore. more often than not, people stay home with their parents until marriage, or until they make the huge decision to move in with a significant other. seriously, that is usually the case.

but every family has its own problems, and i feel mine had our fair share of arguments. when i decided enough was enough and i left home at 20, i knew nothing about the outside world. knowledge through just reading is nothing, and even though i had been to japan 7 times for holidays (the longest lasting a month and the shortest was perhaps a week) and i thought i knew it quite a bit, nothing prepared me for what i was to face all alone in tokyo.

the first few months were really tough. i forced myself not to make any english speaking friends, so that i would be forced to learn japanese if i even wanted friends. also, i had never ever lived alone before, let alone do any housework, so it was like being thrown into concentration camp with no one to talk to but 4 blank walls, and no one to listen to but my japanese-speaking television.

it was hard, and i was awfully lonely for a while, but then i soon picked up the language and made tons of friends. i was so happy. when i got into bunka, i thought i would die of happiness. those two years i experienced in bunka, were filled with unforgettable memories and wonderful, beautiful friends, who i love to death.

i decided to study fashion design, not because i wanted so desperately to be a fashion designer like some of my friends, but because i just loved clothes and i loved fashion, and i wanted to learn more.

i told myself, "hey you, you're really living your dream. don't let anything slip by."

i was devastated when school in tokyo ended. the thought of not being able to see my friends for a while was horrible. but then things happened and i transferred to parsons in new york, and although i'm still very sad about being so far away from my friends, the new life ahead of me beckons and i must say i'm very excited about it.


i read something yesterday that made me think about things for a while. it was something that iranian-american anousheh ansari, 40, the world's first female space tourist said.

"how do you put a price on your dream? is it worth one month's salary? is it worth dying for? i don't have an answer. but i believe it is different for every person. for me, i was ready, and still am, to give my life for my dream."

she paid US$20 million to see her dream come true.

i thought that was incredible. technically, i know how many zeros there are in $20 million, but i've never seen that much money ever, so in reality, i don't know how much $20 million is.

but what she said struck a note in me, something that i hope i'll remember for the next three years while i live in manhattan, something i hope i'll remember for the rest of my life.

"the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

- eleanor roosevelt