what the heck's a freebird?

i started this blog on my 24th birthday, on april 19th. for no particular reasons, except to blog about my life. what's happening around me, what i think, what i've been doing, etc. for myself and for my friends. i have another blog but that's in japanese, and it has become a communicating ground between my japanese friends and myself. so i wanted to start a blog in english. i have been away from home (singapore) for almost 4 years. i've lost contact with many friends back home, and those whom i have kept in touch with, are just a mere handful. i thought i might be better off keeping a blog, for me to one day remember what happened, and also to update my friends on me and my life.

having said that, although [freebird] holiday in the sun is my personal blog, i live for comments and emails. it's great to know what people think, whether or not they agree with the things that i have to say. i've made friends with many people online, and through this blog i hope to make more. so if you do have any comments, please say whatever's on your mind, because it would be great to keep this blog interactive. i also hope to include my take on fashion in this blog.

after all, heck, i'm a fashion addict/student/designer/lover/slave.

actually, cancel the "slave" part. i'm never a slave to fashion.

i believe that you can never overdress. i believe in finding what works for you and working it to the limit. i believe in having your own style, a look that is uniquely you. i believe in living life to the fullest. i believe in living according to your heart, whether you are angry, sad, or happy. i believe in love. i believe in accessories. i believe that confidence is the ultimate accessory.

so what's a freebird?

just in case you're wondering about all the weird names going on around here.

the url of my blog is kansha-shite.blogspot.com. actually i wanted just my name but obviously it was already taken. so the next word i came up with was kansha-shite, and it was available!

kansha-shite, written 感謝して, is to be appreciative in japanese. so i'm pretty glad i got that url. freebird is the title of one of my favorite songs, by the biggest japanese group in japan history ever, ...............smap.

yeah yeah don't crap on me for it. i'm a... smappuholic. a smap teenybopper and i'm not ashamed to admit it. but why smap?

because they make me happy.

it's pretty simple actually. whenever i listen to freebird, it makes me happy and it makes me feel like dancing and just hopping around, flailing my arms around. holiday in the sun, is actually another smap song, but one not very known. basically it's a song that talks about taking a break and having some fun... in the sun.

haha. it sounds silly but it works for me! i can listen to that song a million times and not get sick of it.

well i can't explain all that here so a follow-up post will come soon.

i love smap and i love freebird, amongst many of their other songs.

here's the song and what it means. this song is like some literature poem to me,and it can be translated into many different meanings.the one i did here is how i felt the song translated to me,so please don't copy it without permission.

freebird

例えばアレがなくてもコレがあっても僕は満足しないだろう
平穏無事な暮らしと未来を多少計算してるとしても
眠れない日々や胸を痛める出来事を通り過ぎていく程
幾度も飛び立つ事が出来ると確信して止まないでしょう

for example, even if i didn't have "that"
and if i had "this", i doubt i'd be satisfied.
even if you are kinda calculating how your life
and your future will be peaceful,
even with the sleepless nights and countless happenings
that pain your heart,
once you have managed to take off a few times,
you'd gain confidence and assurance, and you won't quit.

愛するものも 大事なものも 虹のように色を並べて
時間をかけよう 忘れないように この空のように

the things that you love,
and things that are important to you,
will be like the rainbow with all its colors
take your time,

and don't forget.
be like the sky.

どこかに答えがあるのなら
いつか飛び回ることを忘れてしまうよ
君との距離も寂しい時間も
回り続けるからいいんだと思います
freebird freebird freebird freebird

if the answer is out there somewhere,
then one day we'll forget how
we could flit and fly about.
the distance that i have between you
and the times we feel lonely,
it all goes around, so i think that it's alright.
freebird freebird freebird freebird

例えば何か捨てても無くなったとしても不安になる事はない
自分自身に嘘をついてまでやれる事に意義があるとしても
雨は降り太陽は輝き雲が僕らを追い越していくように
君は君でいいし僕は僕のままに時が流れればいい

for example, even if i had thrown away something
or if i had lost something,

i will not be afraid or unsettled.

even if you could lie to yourself just to get something done

just like how it's natural that the rain rains,

and the sun shines and the clouds chase and pass us by,
you are fine just as you are,

and time can go by with me being just me.

夢見る事や 焦がれる事と いつでも向き合っていけるように

時間をかけよう 忘れないように この空のように

at any time, we should be able to face up to, and look for,

the things we have dreamt about,

and the things we have longed for.

take your time,

and don't forget.
be like the sky.

まばゆい光に飛んでゆけ

いつか僕等が費やしてきてる時間は

言葉よりも星の数よりも

とても大切なものに変わってくでしょう

fly towards the dazzling light.

one day, the time that we have spent,

will be more than words and

more than the number of stars.

it'll change into something very dear

and significant.

立ち止まる事も大事だと思うけれど

自由に飛び回るために

yeah

freebird freebird freebird freebird

freebird freebird freebird freebird

but i think sometimes it's also important

to pause and stop for a while,

just so you can then fly free.
yeah

freebird freebird freebird freebird

freebird freebird freebird freebird



i love this song, i really do.

please watch the video if you will. those bums only took 3 hours off their schedules to film this. all low budget huh!
i bet they were just lazy :) but please click and sing along~
free-baaaaaaaard free-baaaaaaaaa---ard!

what did you think?

ps: i forgot to add that apparently, many parts of this video were filmed by the boys themselves. that's why you see them holding all thesereally retro, analog, hand-held video cameras.

who is gilda?

all my life i've been asked,
"is that your real name?"

yeah it is. my siblings and i all have special names.

i did a quick search and here's what i got.

according to behind the name, it's
gender: Feminine
usage: Italian
Derived from Germanic gild meaning "sacrifice".

at think baby names
The girl's name Gilda \gi(l)-da\ is pronounced
JILL-dah, GILL-dah, GEEL-dah.
It is of Old English origin, and its meaning is
"golden, gilded". A short form of Teutonic names
containing "gilde"; can be traced to Ermengilda,
an Anglo-Saxon name. Familiar since the 1940s
due to the movie "Gilda" starring Rita Hayworth.
In the 1980s: actress/comedienne Gilda Radner.

but i think my parents named me for this meaning
that i got from babyhold.
The name Gilda is a baby girl name.
The name Gilda comes from the Celtic origin.
In Celtic The meaning of the name Gilda is: Serves God.


all my life i've had to deal with people
who couldn't pronounce my name.
nor spell it.
in fact, i've gotten so used to it,
i respond to all sorts of ways that people pronounce it.
my own parents confuse me sometimes heh heh.
they call me gil-da or jil-da depending on
i-don't-know-what.
so i'm quite happy with either.

i HATE, however, how my name sounds like in japanese.
because the japanese language lacks the alphabets,
or sounds, to produce how my name should sound,
i ended up with ギルダ (read: gi-ru-da).
which is something that i basically have to repeat twice,
to everyone whom i meet for the first time,
or on the phone to the pizza delivery.

i love my name though.
but i do not recommend anyone else
naming their babies gilda.
i'm selfish and want that name all to myself.
heehee.
but if you or your baby IS named gilda,
please email and tell me all about it!!

my elder sister's name, by the way,
is bibiana, and my younger brother, jorim.

aren't we all just a bunch of special kids?
heh heh.

also, my dad is andrew and my mum is maggie.
my dog is shadow and her sister was misty.

i turned 24 on april 19th,
which was when i started this blog.

i was borne and bred in sunny ol' singapore,
and lived at home for 20 years.
when i was in high school (we call it junior college
in singapore) i decided i wanted to do fashion,
and was supposed to head over to new york.
(since i could already speak english,
i figured why learn japanese or french.
and london seemed so cloudy and dreary so...)

but the same year, september 11th happened,
and my parents freaked out and said NO.
so i got irritated, and decided to work instead.

i worked for a year helping to manage
a travel agency that my parents own.
but after a year, i decided that i hated office work.

so i quit, looked through classifieds,
and saw an ad for a nailist.
for those of you who don't know,
i LOVE getting my nails done and i love nail art,
and had always done it myself.
so i called up,
got hired,
got the keys to the shop within a week,
and actually did pretty well.
i really loved my job and treated the shop
like it were mine.

but my boss was a prick and i wanted to quit.
when i told one of my regulars that i was leaving,
she offered me a job at her design agency.
well, at that time, the company was basically
designing things like pamphlets, p.o.p.s,
catalogues and stuff like that,
for some really huge companies
in the technology market.
i started as her personal assistant slash
project coordinator, with zero knowledge.
it was tough work and i had many screw ups,
but i also had so much fun and learnt a lot.
so rog and von, if you ever read this, thank you.
for giving me a chance of a lifetime
and teaching me a lot,
and most of all for being great friends.

in between all that, and since high school,
i had fallen in love with japan and
hence quit work to move here.

i came in october 2003 and started studying
in a japanese school called inter-cultural institute.

i loved it there, made so many friends,
and my teachers were some of the loveliest
people i have met in my life.

then i moved on to bunka fashion college.
for those of you in the fashion circle,
you might have heard of my school.
it's the only asian school listed in the
top ten fashion design schools in the world,
and home to the best of japanese designers.

i took a 2 year course and it has taught me
everything that i know now.
i've also made friends who will last a lifetime
and won't ever forget.

well, rewind back, my parents have always
wanted me to graduate from university.
so i tried applying to my school's university
program (i was in the 2 year intensive program,
much more famous by world standards).

i got in, but when i met up with the professors,
they suggested that i do not enter the university,
because whatever i have already learnt,
would be repeated and then it'll just
be a waste of my time.

so talks began with the parents,
and i was thinking and going all excited about
prospects of st martins in london.
then guess what my dad says?

"how about new york?"

wow, you know i don't regret any minute
that i've spent here in japan,
but it does feel as if my life had gone by
in a flash and i'm back to where i was
5 years ago.

so well, new york's my next destination
and school will be starting in the fall.
in the meantime, i'll be back in singapore
for a while.

so there.
that really sums up my life.

"what a freaking long post!
we didn't need all that info, you know!"

sure. whatever.

i can't help it;
i'm like a long-winded grandmother.

if you have any questions you have for me,
email it and i'll answer them all here yeah?

xoxoxo

gilda

you gotta love shibuya

i love shibuya.

if you've ever been to japan,
you'd love shibuya.

if you've never been to japan,
you'd had heard of shibuya.

if you haven't,

where have you been?!?!

shibuya is the place for people watching,
just standing at the famous hachiko statue.
or just looking at the crowd at the shibuya crossing.

the number of people is just AMAZING,
at any time of the day.
walking down center-gai (meaning center street),
you'll see some famous japanese icons.

not exactly famous in a good way,
but they never fail to amaze me.
with how tanned they are,
with how many colors they put in their hair,
how gross their make up is,
and let's not forget those clothes,
and oh my god do ANY of them bathe!?!??!


gross.


them black yamabas and ganburos.
and let's not forget the center-guys (the guy version
of the yamamba; the name's a take on center-gai
where they all hang out. same make up, same clothes)


this is the shibuya crossing.
it's all dark, but you can see the thousands of people.


this is center-gai.


and this is center-guy. gone wrong.


you gotta love 'em glasses.



even in the crowded train,
(no it wasn't peak hour)
you can see how much he stands out.
don't get me wrong, i love the hair color.
but somehow it's just not his color.
and those clothes are just wrong.
i have clothes that color but
he needs a stylist.


i couldn't stop giggling.

i don't wanna leave japan!! & today's get-up 02may2007

what the....
i had just spent the last hour or so
typing a post, and the window froze
so i lost everything. grrr.

i went to visit bunka, my old school, today.
many of my friends have gone up to the
advanced 3rd year course,
(i finished the 2 year course)
and many others have graduated with me
and started work.

they've all been so busy and i haven't seen
many of them ever since we graduated in march.
well i haven't been to school since march.

so today, i went out to the back lane,
to buy a bento and came back to have lunch
in the courtyard with my friends.

just like old times.



the damned wave called nostalgia
hit me hard again.
when i went up to where the classrooms were,
everywhere i went,
people were,
"oh gilda!! how have you been?"
"gilda~~!! congrats on parsons!!"
"gilda!! when are you leaving?!?!"
"*scream* gilda!! *scream* *hug hug*"

god i miss them.

just when you start
complaining about all the homework
and how you wish there was no school,
it ends and you miss it and you miss all your friends.

as i went down the elevator to the lobby
and walked out of school,
i almost started to cry.

once i leave, it'll be a while before
i get to see everyone again.
i've gotta come back for a few more visits,
and meet everyone before i leave.

it really sucks.

3 years ago when i left singapore,
i had the same feeling.
it was the first time i had to live alone,
the first time i had to leave my family and
all my friends behind.

but for the last 3 years,
japan has become home.

as excited as i am to go new york,
i can't bear to leave all that i have here.

sigh.

i went to the bank after that
to get all my addresses changed.
i can't believe i was there for like 1.5 hours!!

i was feeling really shitty.
and when i feel shitty,
what cheers me up best is...


tralala~~!


window shopping!!


of course, i do buy sometimes,
but i don't, many other times.
and i try on anything that interests me.
i look closely at how the clothes are made
when i try them on. so i learn in the meantime.

that might sound really mean, but
my theory is, if i try, i might like.
if i like, i buy!
if i buy, the sales people earn their money,
and everyone's happy!!

see?

it's easy.

here's what i was wearing today.
some people call me mad,
but 80% of my clothes are all unique.

・ tall, black hat by ne-net
・ cheap, 5 dollar t-shirt
・ pink dress by nadine zlotogora
・ blue jeans by rna
・ necklace (with small soft toys!) by mercibeaucoup
・ black studded leather boots by junya watanabe

and this is what i found at mercibeaucoup,
one of my favorite brands.
it's so cute!!
i loved it.

*burp*

no, i'm not trying to be funny.
i just can't stop burping.

i've never been a burper.
(by the way, is there such a word?)
i never did used to burp.
i could drink a whole bottle of coke and not burp.
it'll be quite something if i burped more than
say, 3 times a year.

but in the last 2 years,
something's like majorly wrong with my body.
i can't figure out what it is.

i think i've stored up all these burps from
many many non-burp years,
and now it's just all comin' right out.
like some never-ending story.

i've been to the doctors to check it out twice.
i've have tubes inserted in me to have a look around.
i've taken my medicines,
finished those damned anti-biotics.
but nothing's worked.

in fact, recently it's just gone from bad to worse.
i think i can burp like 1793728 times in a row.
just burp burp burp burp... bbbbbburp burp bURP.
you get the picture.

it's disgusting.
well I AM disgusted.

the funny thing is that i only start burping when i'm home.
it just keeps coming and i can't stop!!
there are days when it's not so bad.
but there are days when the burps are
seriously never-ending
and i sound like hiccups gone wrong.
you know, not the BURP kind but like b, b, b, burp,
in a hicuppy rhythm.

HAHAHA.

damn, i tried to laugh but it's not even funny.

today is an especially bad day.
my entire tummy is probably filled with gas
(and NO i do not have constipation, thank you very much)
and worse, the burps won't come out,
so i actually feel nauseus and really feel like vomitting.
i get tears welling up in my eyes,
from a burp stuck in my throat.

how fucking gross is that.

when the doctors couldn't find anything medically wrong,
and all the pills they prescribed didn't work,
i tried changing my entire diet.

that didn't work either.

so i've given up and succumbed to burping.
i'm destined to be a 24 year-old girl in a
65 year-old's rotting body.
or is it the other way around.
a 65 year-old in a 24 year-old's body?

whatever.

*no offence to anyone 65.
i have grandparents way older than that.

~sigh~

i can't take this any longer.

i'm tired. literally.
i've been up all night cos you know,
i've been all excited since last night HEH HEH HEH
for very good reasons, and wasn't able to sleep.
which isn't a big problem cos
i have all sorts of weird sleeping hours and
stay up all night many times a month.

but i'm tired from packing my room
(i'm moving), and plus this stupid burp's getting
in my way.
it's just killing me dammit.


oh, sorry if that just all sounded real disgusting.
don't worry.
i'm quite grossed out myself too.
with myself.
ugh.


ps: i recently realised that i'm seeing a black spot.
like when i look at things, there is a small tiny black spot.
when i try to chase it with my eye, i can't.
cos duh, it's in my eye.

so great.
now,
not only am i the queen of the burps,
i've got a freakin' dotted eye!!!

my whole body's probably fucked up.
i gotta get myself checked up when i go home.