i wonder when it will be my time!

when i was younger, i used to imagine that i'd get married when i was 24, have kids at 26, blah blah blah.

well i'm 24 now dammit.

no boyfriend in sight either.

boo.

some of you might remember me mentioning that i was going to a wedding. that was on the 20th, and was held in hartford, connecticut. i only knew the family that was getting married, and andy, whose mom grew up with the bride's mother. andy's parents were kind enough to offer me a ride up to connecticut, so i took the car together with the 3 of them.

they were so cute and bickered all the way. i miss my family. except that in our case, we'd be really fighting with each car ride. 5 stubborn people can't get into a car together. it's war.

anyway, i brought like 4 different things to wear to the wedding cos up till the very last minute, i couldn't decide what to wear!! i had so much work to do that weekend, i brought my macbook to the wedding and was working on it till about half an hour before the ceremony was to start. it was pathetic.

then it was major panic mode. i think i took off and put on each dress about 5 times. seriously. i need to lose weight and i need boobs.

i'm fat and flat. what kind of deadly, very turn-offish body type is that!! pooh.

it was the first wedding that i have attended in the last... god knows how many years, and my first ever jewish wedding!!! now, i know nothing much about the jews and their customs. the only exposure i've had to jewish weddings was on sex and the city when charlotte got married to hairy!!

i mean harry. but i got to see first-hand all the uh... i don't know what it's called, but the cute dance, the couple being lifted up in chairs (looked like a totally scary rollercoaster ride!), stuff like that. it was all so exciting!

god i hate my camera. it's so lousy. but can you at least see the last picture? that's the chair-lift thing. it was so fun!!! i was gawking and smiling with my mouth so wide open, two flies could have flown in.

the wedding was gorgeous and the couple looked so happy. the two of them were childhood best friends!!! they've known each other and been together for 12 years now. can we all say, wow?

andy and i had a discussion about this, if we would ever marry our childhood friends. seriously, i just can't imagine it. i mean, i tried to imagine alex and myself, and i almost shuddered. (no offense alex darling, you know i love you xoxo. heh heh.)

but when you know all sorts of crap about someone, and they know all sorts of crap about you, and if you're just so comfortable with that person you could (almost) fart in their face, and if there were seriously zero sparks, i could never get married like that i think.

although i'd have to say that if there was an attraction since you were kids, that's like a fairytale come true, very disney-cartoon worthy, and totally romantic. i would get totally jealous of people like that. especially if they could fart in each other's faces, roll over laughing and still kiss. now that is what i call true love.

going to the wedding really made me think of when it might be my turn. at the moment, i seriously can't imagine myself getting hitched. i think i need to learn more about myself, love more of myself, (and start by getting a boyfriend) before i can even think about that chapter of life.

*major sighs*

i felt so out of place at the wedding. i was one of the extremely few asians there, uh, i had bright pink hair, i just felt so out of place. as the night wore on, i realised how bad i was at communicating with people. i couldn't start conversations, and i just felt like an idiot. i don't know whether it was because i was tired, or was i more shy than i thought i was...?? most of the people there were close friends or relatives, all distant cousins of each other... there were kids and then there were the older folks. and all those people who looked around my age were either bridesmaids and best men (and were hence busy running around), great friends of the couple (and were thus squealing and hugging permanently), or were the regular stuck up typical bitches. yes, that bitchy girl in every american movie.

• black satin dress with jewels by betsey johnson. i bought this at the betsey johnson sample sale. 80 dollars!! woohoo!!
  
• black heels by irregular choice
• turquoise hair feather thing by me
• spoiling soon camera by sony (i will miss you)
  

(why did i decide to take photos in front of the toilet bowl like that. how gross.)

anyway around midnight, the party was still going strong and i was just about dying of boredom. everyone was dancing disco and while i loved all those old songs, i just needed to have more friends around to be able to go wild and enjoy myself. andy found me sitting outside the ballroom texting and talking on the phone with my classmate. i think he was bored too. so we got the hell out of there and decided to go out to town and "discover" hartford.

there was nothing.

the whole town had like 4 bars, filled with regular college frat boys and girls who were rubbing up against them.

i don't understand how they do that. call me a 50 year old prude, but i couldn't do that. a few guys tried to chat me up but they were so young and immature i basically smiled and walked away. ugh.

the bars and clubs closed at 2 am, and standing outside in the freezing cold and no jacket, guess what happened?

for the first time in my life, i heard gunshots from a distance.

i'm not kidding.

they were real. i know you are thinking, "how would you know?"

because it was different from anything i have ever heard before. a total of 5 of those pierced through the air, and then i saw a group of 4 black guys running towards us and to their cars nearby. then i heard police sirens, and then everyone started running. it scared the fuck out of me. i was already blue with cold but hearing that, the color really drained from my face. andy is a native new yorker and it was his first time hearing gunshots too.

and who would have thought we'd hear them in no-one-land, hartford?

here's the only picture that andy and i took together. he was my saviour that night, i would have died if he weren't there, seriously. i hate this picture of myself though. i look like garfield.

ahaha.